Is it okay to talk about this?

I am telling about English native speakers or foreigners in Korea.
This can be a rather controversial issue. But it is how I am feeling today.... so please understand me.
If you feel uncomfortable, don't read this entry.


As I am engaged in English language teaching industry, sometimes I need to ask help English native speakers to do our jobs as follows.

recording (voice actor)
modeling (photo shooting)
proofreading
writing
training teachers by demonstrating model teaching

Some of them are engaged in agencies. They do recording or modeling arranged by thier agency.
Others do these as a part time job. Some of them work for language institutions.

Anyway... I was fooled by two foreigners these days. My company is now looking for a presenter who can train teachers by demonstrating model teaching. I interviewed some and asked them to give a trial presentation.

One was a Canadian who get married to a Korean girl. He was very confident with the job but the day when we were supposed to have a trial presentation, he did not come without any notice. He even did not answer my phone. I was very mad! It happned a week ago.

The other was an African American (as he told). But later it turned out that he was a Nigerian and had lied about all of his private information and career stuff. I was very very pissed off again. It happned today.

I don't want judge English native speakers in Korea but I can not help thinking that many of them are not responsible and they underestimate me, my company, and even my country.

JAPAN!

I am going to Japan in August! I never have spent full a yearly vacation since I started to work. In addition, it's my first visit to Japan. I am very excited!

I decided to go on a vacation this time though it will cost much. The reason is I want to escape from my routine and I am wandering as if I am in puberty. It's ridiculous but really I am!
Hopefully this attempt will refresh my life. The more stressed I am, the more money I am spending. :( Anyway I decided to take a risk of being flat broke.

My friend and her husband live in Kyoto. I am planning to stay with them and visit Kyoto and Osaka. If you have a tip about traveling in Japan, let me know it.

Why marriage?

I am not sure whether I will be able to marry or not.
Vaguely I decided to marry someone someday.

1) Most of all, the reason why I made my decision is to try not to be lonely.
Well...now... I am a beloved daughter of my parents.
I am an employee of a company.
I am a friend of my friends.
..... like these I play several roles in the society around me.

But what if I get older?

My parents will pass away. (It is very heart breaking only if I imagine it.) The family that my parents made is my family. I am secured in the family now but if the family is broken naturally, I am sure I will be in panic and I must feel very hard.

My parents have not drove my to marry. As they get older, I can feel they tend to depend on me. Frankly speaking, it is a burden. I sometimes want to run away from it. This is a very selfish idea....Argh...but it's true for me.

I could be fired or could resign my job. If I lose my job and there's no one around me, it would be very hard to identify myself.

My friends will be engaged in their new society that I cannot belong to. This problem even happens now, in my 20s. You can agree with it easily.

Then...where do I have to go into?

It is very selfish of myself to consider marriage for only these reasons. But these really count! And there is another reason.

2) I think I have to develop myself through marriage. I should encounter many challenges that I can do meet up in my life. The relationship created by marriage is the very thing that would constitute other perspective of myself. I want to take the challenge to develop my self.

Third reason is the simplest one.

3) I want to be loved by one person and to love someone. I want to make a new life with the person I want.